Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
