I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize