Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
