As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
