i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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