I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
