Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
