i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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