You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
