She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
