went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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