Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
