Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
