I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
