Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
