He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
