I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
