i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize