Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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