So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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