come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
