dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Randomize
