I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
