just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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