i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
