i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I need to align my fucking chakras
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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