She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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