Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I forgot how hot balto sounded
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
