apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Semen is not good for contacts.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
