Where is the hickey?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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