if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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