Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
