Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
