Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
