three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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