Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize