He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
