Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
