i can't believe i had my finger in that
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
