No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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