can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
