I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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