So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
