she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
