i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
