Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
