the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize