false alarm. still invincible.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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