The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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