Even the bartender felt bad for me
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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