Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
