you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
