Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
