I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Randomize
