Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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