He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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