Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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