My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
