Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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