I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
