I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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