i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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