we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
