you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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