i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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