Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
