I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
